Talking to children during a separation

Children mostly want to know three things: is this my fault, where will I sleep, and do you both still love me. Answering those three, repeatedly and calmly, does more than any perfect explanation.

Keep it short and repeat it

Children take in information in small pieces and come back later with the same question. Answering the same question twice is not failure. It is how they process it.

What to leave out

• Legal detail and court steps.
• Money worries.
• Anything critical about their other parent.
• Asking them to carry messages.

Where to get support

Organisations such as Relate and Family Lives offer support for parents, and schools often have a pastoral lead who can help quietly. If you are worried about a child's safety, contact the NSPCC helpline or, in an emergency, the police.